Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Top 5 People/Vehicles I Hate to Be Stuck Behind While I'm Driving

Greetings, dear readers! I recognize that it's been literally forever since I've posted and, quite frankly, I have no excuse for that except that I've been uninspired. Well, now I have the perfect rant for you.

Driving has proven to be an incredibly fun experience for me, but it definitely has a few bumps.

5) Motorcyclists
Okay, so my interactions with this group has been somewhat limited, otherwise they would probably be further down the list. But let me tell you, motorcyclists tend to be the rudest freaking people ever. They cut you off in traffic, weave in and out of lanes, blare their radios as loud as possible, and tend to act like they're the Kings of the Road. It's even worse when they're in gangs together, because they tend to build off of each others' awful behaviors. Sorry, little guy, but I could mow you down with my car in a millisecond. Nobody appointed you Head Honcho. Plus, they're just so freaking LOUD. Most of my experience with motorcyclists is on Friday nights when I have to cut through a certain town to get home from school, and it's usually never fun.

My apologies to motorcyclists who actually drive respectfully, but this has been my experience thus far. Get the word out to your friends not to be such assholes.

4) Bicyclists
Oh right, another drawback of going to a rural school. Look, I have no problems with you getting exercise and all, but I don't see why you can't do it in the middle of the road. Better yet, why don't you do it at a park or a place that has sidewalks. If you MUST drive on the road, at least go over to the side when you see a car pass. I understand how this might be more of an inconvenience to you if you were on a busier road, but you're usually not. Now, bicyclists only make number #4 because I now have no qualms passing you, but the real problem is when other drivers do not, and I have to deal with going five miles per hour until I'm able to turn on the nearest road. Now, when I was a student driver, this was much more unnerving than it is now, so let it be known that for quite some time, I was thinking quite nasty thoughts your way whenever I passed you.

3) Anyone who drives under the speed limit, but especially MINIVANS and BUSES
I realize that you're legally allowed to drive five miles under the speed limit (and that I did when I was learning how to drive), but it's annoying. I mean, don't you have anywhere to get to? When I don't have to get anywhere by a specific time, it's only mildly annoying, but when I'm running late, it's beyond irritating.

I hate to play into stereotypes, but minivans and buses are the worst. Nine out of ten times I'm behind a bus, they're going under the speed limit and I would say that's about eight out of ten for minivans. I recognize that you're often carrying precious little cargo, but can't you carry that precious cargo a little faster? Don't they have a soccer game to get to?

As for any bus drivers reading this, I just want to say that I respect the fact that I have to stop while you pick up the kiddos, but please don't engage in lengthy conversations with their mothers. Thanks a bunch.

2) Most trucks: garbage trucks, tractor trailers, construction trucks, even regular old trucks that tend to fall under the above category...
Most commercial trucks tend to drive at LEAST ten miles under the speed limit. Not to mention, they're freaking HUGE so it's not like you can see over them. You can't see the stoplights, so you have to kind of look to see if they're braking. My school happens to be next to a quarry, so I get stuck behind construction trucks quite a bit. It's a double yellow line, so I can't pass them. It's the WORST when I'm late. When you're stuck behind a truck on the highway, you at least can pass them (but they're huge and it's scary to pass them).

1) Rude people

My area has the rudest drivers ever. They're willing to honk their horns and cuss you out even at the slightest driving infraction. Oh, I want to wait too long at a stop sign? Honk. I take the parking spot you've so coveted? Honk. I hesitate just the tiniest bit before starting to drive when the light turns green? HONK. There have definitely been times when honking at me has been warranted and even necessary, I won't lie, but it is definitely excessively used where I live.

I would also like to add that there is no excuse for making obscene gestures to another driver or cursing outside of your window at someone. As frustrated as I have been at the above drivers, I am proud to say I have never done any of these. Unfortunately, I cannot say that I have never been the recipient of this. I remember one day when I was coming home from work. It was about nine and a school night, so I was tired. There was this one guy about to come out from an exit, and I just wanted to go home, so I didn't let him out. He passed me and, as he did, opened his window flipped me the bird. But that wasn't all. We got a red light and, still in front of me, the guy continued to flip me off, waving his arm as he did. I mean, really, dude? That was a pretty terrifying thirty seconds.

Now, I suppose that stupid drivers are also included in this category, but I have more sympathy for these people. After all, I've made a lot of driving mistakes myself and I realize it happens. You get tired, you're thinking about something else, you're nervous, you forget that left yields for a second, etc. However, there is some stupidity that truly can't be explained away. Again, I have quite some interesting stories, as I'm sure that we all do. There's no excuse for blowing a red light at sixty miles per hour, or texting on the road. But still.

Honorable mention: Animals

I'm putting animals in "honorable mention" because this isn't entirely their fault, and it's rather sad that they get run over as much as they do. Still, they are a nuisance. Now, I try to be nice to them and not run them over. However, quite often, I feel like these creatures of the forest take advantage of my hospitality. Let it be known that, yes, I will stop for any deer herd, squirrel, duckling or any other creature that I can see is about to cross my path. But, given my courtesy, you creatures ought to do two things: One, don't just leap out in front of my car at random and two, don't STOP to stare at me. Just keep going your merry way, children of the forest, so that we can coexist peacefully. But no, the animals (especially the deer) in my area have massive balls and haven't quite learned yet that these practices go against your greater interests. But I'll cut you some slack as we're cutting through your native land and all.

So what about you, dear readers? Who do you hate getting stuck behind?