Everyone heals differently and in different ways. Apparently, there's no way to mourn correctly as long as it's mourning in a way that is healthy. Which is fine. My sister retreats; my grandpa eats his candy; my dad turns to the TV; I write. I've always written. That's especially helpful when I need a way of releasing the toxic emotions that would burst inside of me just to let it out. When I'm sad and need a distraction or an outlet, I write.
Writing is a form of expression. By writing done everything, I admit it. Once I admit it, I'm able to comprehend and analyze the problem at hand. Or sometimes I just need to take that edge of the emotions and sometimes that's just a step to help me keep going. And just going is healing enough. Releasing the toxins and letting myself just feel is healing. Writing allows me to do that in the best and truest forms. In writing, I don't have to lie and I don't have to restrict myself like I have to do in real life. I can gather my thoughts and my feelings and deal with them in a way that isn't totally threatening.
It also serves as an escape. Sometimes, I can't deal with reality. I don't want to deal with my emotions and dealing with my emotions more would only hurt me more. And so I use writing to escape from everything. It works for a little bit sometimes but it's usually not as effective as I want it to be. So I don't rely on it fully.
I can't rely on writing fully to help me out right now, though. That's not entirely healthy. Introspection, I suppose, can take me so far. Plus, it can make me a bit of a hermit if I start relying on it too much. If I identify the problem and do nothing about it, then that won't do anything to fully help me out and I won't be getting to the root of the problem. I admit that while writing solves many of my needs, it doesn't solve all of them. I need human interaction and other things to help me also and I have to remember not to undervalue those things.
My mom and my sister think that I was given my writing to help me out in life and to help out other people. That it serves a greater purpose. I don't know if that's true, but I guess it doesn't matter. Writing might not have done anything but it's done so much.
Writing has helped me through so many things. They help me take the extra steps just to keep going, going, going. And so it will help me now. It's not about some long-term goal but it's more about a short-term one.
I can heal through writing. I will.