Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Promised Anti-Bigotry Post

You know how I said that soon or later some racist asshole would emerge their head and then I could write a blog post about it? Well, that's happened and it's caused quite the uproar among many of the people I'm subscribed to on YouTube.

This chick who goes by the name HeyRuka posted this disgusting video spewing all of this white supremacist crap basically. She was talking about how races are different from each other and how race is very much a part of our DNA/ who we are, with different abilities and I.Q. (and how much better one's life is with a better I.Q. making you not only more intelligent but also less violent. Yes I do know what she's trying to get at) and whatnot. Then she even went as far as to suggest that races should separate into countries (and better yet separate continents although she knows of course that that's unrealistic) and how that would create better societies (and of course she talked of how society has been negatively affected with the assimilation of races). She put the video on private later on and posted a follow-up video with sources (she's totally twisting the information there, of course. I've read them).

I must ask, being biracial, what island I would go on (I assume that she would assign a multiracial child to the lesser race so I would go with the Hispanics of course. Wouldn't want to sully any future white babies with my more barbaric ways and lesser intelligence). However, there have been plenty of other people who have pointed out the logical fallacies she's presented so I don't think I need to do so here.

What I do need to comment on is how tragic racism is and the effects that it has on a person. She prides herself with being an atheist and freethinker (I am too, for anyone who is going to totally say that atheism and racism are connected and how evil atheists are and all that). While she may have thought for herself in that area, in this case she totally bought her parents' brainwashing in this respect. I personally prefer to avoid groupthink and think as an individual.

I fail to understand how the color of one's skin or the shape of one's eyes or whatever other distinguishing characteristic unique to different races can distinguish how intelligent you are and how you act as a human being. It's not different than discriminating on the basis of hair or eye color. I'm astounded and horrified when I read about the acts committed because of racism and I can't believe people still think that that was and/or is the right idea.

If anything, we aren't assimilated enough in terms racially. I don't think there was even four black kids in my grade of more than four hundred kids last year and I don't know where that stands this year. If it weren't for the Asian and Indian kids that go to our school, there wouldn't be any diversity at all. As I've stated here before, my school district is considered wealthy by many standards. Racism is definitely still a barrier. If there's any reason why minorities don't score as high in I.Q. as their white counterparts (I'm not sure how HeyRuka feels about Asians who are the only minority that is viewed as stereotypically smarter than whites), it's because of the poverty that they were cast into a long time ago that many still cannot escape and the crappy education that comes with being born into a poverty-stricken area.

Being judged on anything other than your character and your own actions is wrong and unfair. Being judged on something you can't help like your race or gender or sexual/gender orientation is absolutely sickening and should be utterly condemned. Unfortunately in America we have the media so none of us can truly avoid internalizing these stereotypes to a degree. As human beings, it's automatic for us to put labels on things and to not question what a higher authority has told you. The important thing is correcting bigoted thinking when you recognize it instead of denying it and pretending like it isn't there, as well as calling it out when it's blatantly obvious like it has been in this case.

America, as well as the world, has a long way to go into fixing these problems though we have also come a long way from where we were before. Fixing it starts with tiny steps, like correcting this kind of nonsense when you are unfortunate enough to come across it.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I Survived My First Day of High School!/ Thoughts

So I'm here now. I finally feel that I can officially call myself a freshman.

My first day wasn't wonderful. I can't say that I walked out of high school with a smile on my face and a bounce to my walk. But at least I didn't come home and burst out in tears, like I half-expected I was going to.

So the first half of the day they had us do these stupid bonding rituals or whatever and I was bored out of my mind. On the bright side, it did give me an opportunity to read much of the time and I happen to be reading a very good book right now (my mom yelled at me when I told her that. Apparently using my books as an excuse not to have to socialize is a bad thing. Telling from the quality of the conversations I heard around me and the fact that most of the girls were divided between Jersey Shore and Pretty Little Liars when we had to talk about our favorite shows as their favorite shows, they didn't seem like the type of girls that would make good friends for someone like me). The second half of the day I was so busy getting to my classes (I'm terrified for when I have to deal with all of the upperclassmen too) that I didn't really have much time to think and classes were so short the day didn't feel as long.

On the bright side it doesn't seem like I'm going to have as much homework as I thought I would (I heard that the English teacher I have is super-strict and gives a lot of it but it's English so I'll be much more likely to enjoy it). Unfortunately, school will definitely get into the way of my writing especially considering that I'm also planning to join a lot of clubs which will also get in the way of what little free time I have.

Okay this should be it for me and school angst. I've written enough blog posts on it already.

Lately, I've been beginning to feel shallow for making this all about me. My writer's block or my worry about school or how I've fared the earthquake and the hurricane. I mean I was watching the news last night and they were talking about how they were finding out how Gaddafi had ordered so many people murdered and how their loved ones were claiming their decomposed bodies (which looked quite terrible and horrible but no worse than any Holocaust/ Rwandan genocide pictures that I've had to view for school for my project). I mean I'm hearing complaining about how horrible school makes me feel and the thought of it when so many parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, nieces, cousins, nephews, and friends will never come home again.

I promise that I'll write of some deep, thought-provoking posts in the future. I was going to post a piece on how disgusting bigotry is after watching The Help (which is a pretty good adaptation for once. Excellent movie based on an excellent book) but that day was so busy that I never got around to it. I'm sure that some homophoic and/or racist asshole (Glenn Beck, anyone?) will make the news in the future, though, so it will most likely be the topic of a future blog post.

I guess I'll have to see what blog posts and high school and future will bring.

Monday, August 29, 2011

My REAL Last Day of Freedom

Okay so as I wrote in the update, school was delayed. It seemed like a blessing at the time but now I'm not so sure. Now this is one more day to freak out .While I always enjoy lounging around, it also means I have time to think about things... Things I'm not so sure I want to think about.

I'm pretty sure I vented most of my angst and anxiety about school yesterday so I guess there's really no need to repeat myself. It's just... ah. It's enough to make me scream, everything. Yesterday was great, though. I had managed to calm myself down to an almost tranquil state (it was weird. I felt calmer than I have for a long time). I did manage to savor every bit of it and not think about today (or what was supposed to be today, anyway).

I'm just thinking about it some more. I'm trying to do the same as I did yesterday, enjoying the crap out of this. I'm supposed to be longing for school right now though, not dreading it (the downside of learning to entertain myself. My sister hasn't learned it and things seem to be working out much better for her now). Oh well. It'll be nice blogging about something other than the coming of school and natural disasters now, won't it? So maybe I should embrace the coming of school, if anything for how it will enrich my writing (and that of this blog).

I guess I'll write again tomorrow to let everyone know I survived (they should have a T-shirt for that, really) and didn't get mauled by incoming seniors (from what I can tell, they won't harm unless attacked first. Actually they aren't coming in until the day after us so I guess I'll have to post a blog post that day after too. Of course there always are the guys big enough and maybe old enough to be seniors...).

Maybe it'll be fun? *grins the hopeful, desperate grin of the victim trying to hold off the killer BEFORE she's killed*

Sunday, August 28, 2011


So... No school for me tomorrow! Looks like today WASN'T my last day of freedom. While the part of the district I'm at is fine other parts are flooded and/or still without power.

Better yet, my shorehouse wasn't destroyed by the storm and my relatives got their power back.

Hurricane/Last Day of Freedom

So right after my first earthquake I had to deal with my first hurricane. It seems like something out of a book almost.

Alright, I could make this all dramatic like I did the last time but as you can tell from the second part from this blog post title, I'm really not in the mood.

Basically it happened at eleven or so last night. There was a ferocious pounding on the ceiling and the left hip that I got surgery on was bothering the crap out of me (it always throbs a little when it rains for some bizarre reason. Ask any amputee or person whose been operated on/has had a major injury done to them and they'll tell you the same thing). Those are two majorly inconvenient things for someone trying to get back on a sleep schedule. So finally I gave up and went to the exercise room because it had a window with a view on the street and I wanted something to talk about with my experience with my first hurricane.

What I saw was something that looked like something on a newscast. The trees were swaying back and forth; there was this howling/rustling noise outside; the rain came down in a frenzy and formed a shallow river on the street below with a crazy current.

Eventually, I went back to sleep. By the time I woke up, Irene was gone. Though we still don't know about our shore house, our main house managed to survive the storm intact and with the power still working (many of our relatives can't say the same. They're currrently without power). Being as I'm unhurt and no one I know has been hurt by the storm or lost anything, I can't help but feel it's kinda cool that I experienced my first hurricane (not that I don't feel horrible for those who can't say the same, though. I really do).
Unfortunately, no power outages means no school delays. Tomorrow I will be starting my first day as a freshman. So this is officially my last day of summer and of freedom.

I know I'm supposed to look at this like an adventure or a fresh start and maybe it will be. Still I can't help but think of the high school horror stories that I've heard (especially from my parents. Yet again my district performs significantly better than theirs ever did. Most of the people in my district are also white-collar workers with six-figure salaries not blue-collar workers barely getting by. I'll also never have to deal with riot dogs or being in the wrong place with the wrong skin color). School is no longer creeping around the corner but it's here and I have to deal with it now. Usually when people enter a situation they ask what's the worst it can be. But with high school the worst it can be is pretty freaking bad (especially if you are a self-idenified word nerd).

Since this is my last day of freedom and summer, I'm going to enjoy the crap out of it and not let my anxiety get in the way again. As New York City's mayor said (or maybe it was Philly's), I'm going to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Hurricane Irene

So right after we get an earthquake, it turns out we're due for a hurricane. One natural distaster after the other.

At least down at the East Coast, we're better prepared for that kind of thing. We get hurricanes every year so it's nothing new to us (by the time it comes down to my house, it's usually just a tropical storm though). That's not freaky to us. Sad and scary, maybe, but not an earthquake.

Anyway, Hurricane Irene looks more serious than I thought. The county where my family's shorehouse is is being evacuated and up here it's expected that the power will go out. My first day of school might be called off because of power outages (yay, one more day of summer! I'm used to snow days and even a heat day every once in a while but never a we're-afraid-of-a-hurricane-knocking-out-our-power day). As I said, I'm used to being in tropical storms not a legit hurricane. So as long as our house stays intact and no one gets hurt, I'll be pretty excited about being in my first hurricane.

It's kind of weird that it's happening so close to each other. I'm surprised that some Harold Camping wacko hasn't used this to say that it's a sign that the world will end or something. At least then they'd have more of a case.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My First Earthquake!

I was in my family's computer room. It was a day just like any other day. First the ceiling shook and everything else started shaking too... I ran under the desk, screaming for my loved ones and praying for some bigger force than myself for it to end. At this point, it felt as if I was a bobble head and the ground the head moving me. It was August 23rd and I thought it would be the last day of my life...

Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic. My story, in comparison to some of our family friends in Virginia, was seriously not that big of a deal. The ceiling did shake but I thought it was my sister running or jumping (in hind sight, I realize that there was no noise). Then she came downstairs and told me that there was an earthquake. My grandma turned on the news and... There it was. The East Coast had experienced an earthquake, a situation that seems like something out of some crazy sci-fi movie (you know, when the world is about to end or something). So, I do admit that my first reaction was: I was in an earthquake. Cool!

But then as we heard more, my situation turned to worry. My sister thought of our family friends and I thought of a friend I made at sleepaway camp whose home was closer to the epicenter. Fortunately, no one close to us was hurt so I'm back to my first reaction now.

My mom called us immediately (I tried to call my friends about it but my cell phone towers were down or whatever because I wasn't able to reach anyone). Apparently, she thought a car ran through the building and her work had to evacuate. She was more traumatized than I was.

Now about all the commotion... I can totally see some random Calfornian family talking about this.

Calfornian mother: The East Coast had an earthquake. It was 5.9!

Calfornian son/kid brother: Yeah, they're all freaking out about it.

Calfornian father (who strangely looks like George Lopez, although I would imagine this would be more along the lines of the character Benny): Sissies! That ain't nothin'. They should see some of the quakes down here.

Yeah, I imagine some of the weirdest stuff. Anyway, I still say this is a story worth telling my kids and my nieces and nephews (I like the first version though, don't you? :D). I'm kind of worried a twister will be next, which is much more reason to be concerned). I mean if a freaking earthquake down here can happen, I'm sure anything else can.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

School Anxiety

I have about a week left until high school starts. At the very least, the freshmen get an extra day to get used to everything (I think I would have appreciated that extra day of summer. I have to face everything eventually though).

Everyone else is freaking out about classes and homework and stuff but I'm freaking out about them and dealing with them. I guess it's kind of silly but school is always a place that makes me feel stupid and awkward and out of place. I'm not looking forward that feeling again.

I worry about the stupidest little things too. Like every little grade and every little action that I do. I know it's not worth the time that I obsess over them anyway. It's silly to think that just because I failed a math test I've failed at everything but I think it anyway.

At this point, I'm not just feeling school creep over me. It's slammed into me like a freaking tidal wave.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Writer's Block

It's the very thing that all us writers dread. The blank screen and the unmoving fingers. The silent beseeching directed at some higher force for it to be filled with something. Yes, that's right. That very evil is writer's block, an infamous ailment known in particular to those who decide to take up the sport .

Of course I've been having a very productive summer, averaging four pages a day (and sometimes more). It's almost been like a 9 to 5 job that I've willingly undertaken. Of course I'm bound to dry up every once in a while.

At least this time around I can explain it. I think this time around I can remedy it with a break, when other times I have not been nearly so lucky. Obviously I am able to write now in this blog, which proves that I am not entirely afflicted.

But grr.. Of course this has to come now when I only have so much time left to write like this. Later on my writing schedule with be restrained by school and necessary homework time.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Summer and School

It's that time of year again. It's the time of the year with the frantic school supply shopping and the wondering and the worrying over how next year will be (and what your schedule will be compared to those of your friends, the location of your locker, how much homework you'll have, etc.).

It's that time of year where I realize what OTHER time of year is approaching. Of course, at this point the date been slowly but surely creeping up on me. The whole summer I've just been telling myself not to worry because it's not going to happen for a long time. However "a long time" has went from nine weeks to eight and then six and then... And well, now it's less than two. It's at this point that I'm officially freaking out.

Usually at this point I want to go back to school because I'm bored out of my mind. Yet going back to school means less writing time, more anxiety (and homework) and entering the scary world of the unknown that is high school. So I have to say that if I had the chance to go back in time to the beginning of summer I would totally take it.

Unfortunately, I can't hide from it forever. Eventually it will come.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Hey, I'm Tori. I'm currently a fourteen-year-old girl (and soon-to-be freshman, ah) living up life in the beautiful land of the USA. As you may or may not have figured out, I'm a writer with a huge love of words and music. I'm also a proud skeptic, activist and chocolate-lover (because come on, who isn't?). I'm a little crazy, slightly strange and chock-fill of surprises. Join me on this quest to figure things out this year