Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year's Resolution

 I have a few New Year's resolutions this year. I know that it's generally a bad idea to make New Year's resolutions, but oh well, here it is.

1) Lose weight.
I know, I know, not an original New Year's Resolution. Still, I need to do it. I'm going to face facts: I have weight issues. I've struggled with being overweight (on and off) since childhood. In my darker days, I've used incredibly unhealthy methods to lose weight, but, more importantly, I was using an unhealthy mindset. I didn't know how to lose weight without using those tactics. I had managed to make astonishing weight losses in the past, but it just wasn't worth it. I had further perpetuated my self-hating habits and nothing was ever good enough: I had to keep losing more and more weight. Yet using fat shaming to lose weight is never the way to go. I was also losing weight for the wrong reasons (that is, to be aesthetically pleasing). For a long time, I thought that I would have to decide between tackling my mental health problems or tackling my weight problems. Clearly, tending to my mental health is more important. Confidence is more attractive than a skinny body, anyway, and it feels better. I thought that once I got better, the weight issue would sort itself out. Not the case. So now I'm going to tackle that and, hopefully, without any fat shaming, and any unhealthy behaviors.

2) Improve my mental health.
I've made considerable strides in this, but I still have a lot of ways to go. It may appear to some people like this is no longer a struggle for me, but it still is. Too often, I've fallen back into self-loathing thoughts. I still bully myself and belittle my accomplishments. I don't believe I've found peace within myself quite yet. Yet I've made considerable achievements, practicing more self-love and refusing to tolerate this kind of behavior from myself. I know that I don't deserve to have anyone else treat me like that, so I can't treat myself like that, either. Still, this is a continual process and I know that I'll have to check up on myself to make sure I don't slip into old ways.

3) Make more friends.
Because this is always a good one. Friends are always a good thing! Being in a new school, I need as many of them as I can.

4) Pass AP US History (and the AP test) while making sure I don't neglect my other classes. Oh and getting good SAT scores. 
I'll have a much harder time of attaining this goal (especially given how impossible that class is), but I'll figure it out.

5) Continually improve myself. 
This year, I am going to try to work on being more assertive, but try to remain kind at the same time. I still want to be positive, but not naive. I know I have a lot to work on, but I want to do it without hating on myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment