Obsession

Obsession has a way of flinging around in your head like a ping pong ball. It flashes in your head over and over and over again so you can't get it out. It's the flashing red light in your head that won't stop blinking. It won't stop rearing its head and that's why you get caught up in its cycle.

I get obsessed with things easily. Sometimes, that can be a positive thing for me. I get obsessed with shows or books or even people and then it's all I can focus on. It's fun, those obsessions. I don't know if it's healthy, but it's just what happens. I like it whenever that happens, because it feels fun. It feels good when I think about it.

I have an addictive personality, I suppose. Once I get attached to things, I can't let go. Once I'm determined to do something, I have to do it.

Sometimes, it's not so much fun, though. I do something wrong and I can't stop thinking about it. Something isn't right and I can't stop thinking about it. I have something important to do and I can't stop thinking about it. I dwell and I dwell and I dwell. This usually happens for days, but sometimes, it's months. It feels like my brain is on loop. I try to get it to stop, but I can't.

Of course, I know that obsession can make you do far worse things. It can be dangerous, leading people to stalk and hold scary thoughts.

Most of the time, people just call me passionate. Sometimes, I am. A deep love leads me to do a lot of great things like to write (on this blog and elsewhere). It seems much more real, much more permanent, much more healthy than obsessive. But I can be obsessive too. A lot of people call me determined, but that's usually because obsession makes me that way.