Friday, August 29, 2014

Things I've Never Said #2

Dear People Who Are Assholes About Me Having Pet Rats,
I am so sick of dealing with you people. Like, seriously I am. I have had enough. It's one thing when I get a rat hater who keeps their hateful comments to themselves. That's fine, I guess; everyone's different. Yet when you feel the need to share your opinion totally unprovoked, I get angry.

I'll happen to let you know that, yes, domesticated rats do make wonderful pets and I don't mean that sarcastically. I'm not talking about their wild relatives in the sewers, but the rats they sell at pet stores ( no, they're not the same, any more than wolves and dogs are the same). Rats are friendly, cuddly and can learn tricks, making them not only awesome but the superior rodent. You can meet my rats if you'd like, although I doubt you'd be open to the possibility. It's a shame you're so close-minded. If you want a little less love in your life, that's a shame.

Another thing: my rats will not give me the plague. They will not kill me. In fact, domesticated rats have just as many diseases as their cat and dog brethren (oh to all the smart asses who would like to respond "the bubonic plague", that's not A) not a disease pet rats carry and B) it's not even a disease in the Western world). Read it and weep, bitches:
So how about you bite your tongue and read up a little, hmm?

Anyway, I know that, once you get past your "logical" arguments, you'll finally admit their tails gross you out. A cosmetic thing isn't really something I can argue with. The occasional one of you will suggest I cut them off. Not only is that cruel and barbaric, but those tails do, believe it or not, serve a purpose and that's to help with balance. I personally think it has a lot of character, but that's me.
At any rate, I happen to love my babies. You may find this difficult to wrap your head around, but I do. So seriously, just screw off.


  1. There are always going to be haters! If it's anything I've learned ( and sometimes the hard way) not everyone is as "human" as we would like. :) I think it's unique and cool.

  2. Just warning you, earthling:
    this lifetime aint TheEnd...
    Seventh-Heaven or the Abyss
    o'Misery is TheEnd...
    where you shall have
    for eternity in Heaven...
    or pain-beyond-measure
    in Hellfire.

    Jesus prefers dudes
    with a lil moe bawls
    to ascend, earthling,
    and we can show you how:
    1. you gotta love God
    before everything else;
    2. you gotta love your nay-bore,
    putting their lives
    AHEAD of your own.
    Do those 2 things?
    I'll see you in the
    Great Beyond...

    God bless your indelible soul.

    1. Would U please help a plethora of King Size, wildchild, rawkuss poetry/wordz which are lookin 4 a home in thy novelty?? Thx. Whew. They're pretty insane. They're bereft of reason. Oi! Blimey! They're bloody PINK spiders!!

      Gotta lotta gobba shrewd, surreal, supersonic, sardonic satires, sassy N savvy elixers N electronic elegance ( ...and palpable nuance) on our YOUTHwitheTRUTH blogs. Wannum? Have'm. N'joym. Gettm outta my hair!!!

      How mucha wanna betcha our sugar-high-mojo, antioxident, hot-shot, full-throttle, pleasure-beyond-measure, fuse-blowin-exploits R a copious madhouse of one lavish bookay D.O.A.? Our proFUSE NRGod who leads U.S. to explosive fairy-tales in the 'one-stop-shop' symphony Upstairs? God's the BigDude, the Owner of ElysianFields, the Grand Prize, the Austere Overdrive, NoPurchaseNecessary: our bombastic tenaCITY on a Hill which'll plant the Seeds 4u2 grow-up to new N greater heights!! Mama mia! Thatsa good pasta!!

      CAUTION: our 22ish, avant-guard, accurately-atrocious, offa-the-reservation-like-Jimmy-Hoffa, metal breadcrumms R sooo out-of-order, toots, they're an intimate wealth of bottomless sophistication. And dats da lethal fak, Jak. Go ahead. Sue me. Yawn. But, yet, here's the perennial KOO D'TAH: who else has actually SEEN the Great Beyond in spirit & lived to tella youse bout the bionic, bloated, brevity-like-earth we're living on?? Yes, earthling, I had an NDE, almost salivating4salvation. So gain altitude, never attitude: death has no intrinsick favorites.

      If Mr. abSUREditty's an ultra-great-reward, and not everyone enters, Q: why is it an excruciating deluge of epic-.357-caliber where the quality's a limitless bulldozer plowin, pushin-your-power-cord with eternal goodies? A: the Prize-A+-TheEnd just gives U.S. moe-curley-graphix 2 VitSee: an explosion-of-extravagance which few R asking 4 anymore! Grrr. They're too concerned withe grotesque sanity of ambivilant piss-ants which swiftly crawl like lemmings to their scorecard, effusive destruction. C'est la guerre.

      THANK GAWWWD!!! the Don has the ebullient BAWLS!!! to do the Manifest Destiny!!! To lead U.S. forward to the White House Upstairs with his SQUARES!!!

      So, break-free, earthling; be like a contraversial outgrowth of incredibly-intoxicating-effusiveness in your zeitgeist to give the ultimate stunning, avant-guard, bareknuckle potency: Wiseabove. Wanna join this useFULL idiot Upstairs 4 the most zany, kooky, X-acto-knife antidotes? Extremely exquisite, explicit endorphins in abundance? Puh-lenty of pulverizingly-tantalizing psychopathic psychosomatics with eXtras? i2i-kick-velocity's-ass-ultra-maximum-rocket-fuel-party-hardy at my pad ya ever encountered without d'New Joisey accent 4 an eternal slew of precarious, magnanimous & primeval absurdities indelibly etched in the granite corridors of eternity with a total-barrage-of-melt-in-thy-mouth 'depth-of-undenial'???

      Make Your Choice  -SAW
      ...cuzz nobody gitts outta here alive, earthling.