My Chocolate Addiction

It makes me feel good. That's pretty much the reason I do it. It's the reason why I do most things and the reason why most human beings do most things. Chocolate makes me feel good.

It sends a thrill down my body and such a beautiful taste on my tongue. It makes me want more and more and more and so I eat more and more and more. All sweets make me feel this way but chocolate especially.

I literally feel ripples of pleasure shoot through my body just at the very thought of it. When I eat it, I feel pure ecstasy on my taste buds.

I actually think I have a problem. I feel urges to eat sweets at random moments of the days, urges I cannot deny. I eat the chocolate and hate myself as I do it. I hate myself when I'm done. When I see chocolate, I go nuts- I usually can't put it down and I don't know when to stop.

One time on vacation, we were at a particularly fancy restaurant and the restaurant gave us all free dessert on behalf of a mistake that they made. I ate parts of all of their dessert and I was just savage. My dad kept yelling at me to stop and when I didn't, he and my mother jerked the plates away.

On another token, I'm picky when it comes to other food. Thus, the urge to consume other desserts is stronger than ever after dinner. If I could take the urge to eat and transform it into an urge for actual food, I totally would. Unfortunately, I cannot. Alas, I am stuck with this crazy urge to consume until I throw up.

Sometimes, I skip meals to make up for the binges. I frantically exercise it all away. That doesn't make it any better though. Even my mother says I would be skinny if I didn't eat so much crap.

Chocolate is tempting. Devilishly charming. It is my toxic friend, my frenemy. I cannot shake it off of me no matter how I try.

The highs are great; the lows are really terrible. Chocolate makes me happy but it also makes me angry.

In short, my body is an idiot. It craves what is bad for it and shuns what will make it prosper. It leaves me in this vicious battle of food.

I just ate a slice of chocolate cake. The guilt is coming over me in waves. And so the cycle continues.

Passion

Passion is something that thrums in your heart and up to your head.  Being passionate means that you would die for something besides yourself, that you're actually invested in something else. That you care so much that you feel your heart is about to spill over. When someone has passion, it means that they actually give a fuck, that they have broken through the mirage of society's apathy and shallow. And that all means... Having passion means that you care.

Caring is such a simple thing, really. It takes so much out of you and yet it is so easy to do. It is so easy to care, to fall into that routine. It is so hard to fight it. Or, at least, that is the case for me as a passionate person.

The only hard part about caring is showing it. Caring makes you so incredibly vulnerable that it can squeeze your heart and wring it dry. Yet for someone like me, it is so hard repressing how I feel. It is so hard holding back, even when I have to do so.

Passion makes me feel alive. It makes every sense come on fire, makes me notice everything around me. Passion for the world, for life, for freedom, for humanity and all of the other silly idealistic dreams that I haven't been able to let go clutch me still and I feel random waves of feeling all throughout the day (thinking about all sorts of crazy things).

Passion is a double-edged sword. Putting so much into something can leave you in the dust. If you apply passion towards a person, they leave. If you apply passion to a thing, it so often just doesn't end up working out. When something lifts you up like that, the absence of it so often pulls you down. Feeling so much means feeling... everything.

For me, it feels natural to put so much of myself into something. It feels so natural to bare myself and to just... feel. I have tried to numb myself before but the haunting effect of my feelings comes underneath it. Something like that.

I feel crazy sometimes. I wish other people could be the same way. These days, it feels like most people don't care about anything at all. They go to their work day in and day out- some boring office job or menial job, depending on their social class and then... They just go home, usually too worn out by it all. If not, they watch some stupid reality show or something silly. They go about their entire lives though not really caring and sometimes even just replacing that hole in their heart with intense materialism. It makes me feel so sad for them but also so frustrated. I want so badly to find a person who cares as deeply as I do about everything around me.

I feel so raw and so passionate that I'm oozing sometimes. I feel like I can't get all of the passion out and so I write. I feel, I feel, I feel and then I give some of it to my characters because no one else will take my love and my feelings.

Unfortunately for me, too many people are fake. So many people are so broken that they don't know how to feel; they are so broken that they are numb and hollow. They had behind masks and so I can't ever feel that biting loyalty for them. And, for someone as passionate as I am, that just feels so sad. I have so much feeling inside that I need to turn it into love. I can't love a hollow person. My heart aches for them, even as I am frustrated with these people.

Passion has lifted me up and crashed me to the ground. It has made me feel so alive that I was high off of life and it has made me feel like I'm about to die. Passion has been the set of wings on my shoulders as well as the spikes that press into my skin.

Suffering

There is so much suffering in the world that it could stuff a castle and still spill out. No, there's much more than that. And yet there's little that can be done except watch and experience it ourselves. It makes me want to scream and sometimes even cry, but I cannot. I just look around at my broken world and I want to scream at the sight of it.

My grandmother is lying on a hospital bed, sick and hardly able to move. She doesn't even remember how she got there right now, despite how we remind her. She is in physical suffering and has been for quite a while. Her bones ache and her body is frail. Looking at her makes me hurt. I can feel the life draining out of her by the day, wrung out of her by life and by age. The very sight of her hurts.

I just finished reading A Long Way Gone, a book written by a former child soldier. I can't help but think of how horrific it is, how horrific it is that little boys have to fight in a war. I can't believe that there are so many little boys involved in such a terrible things and yet... Ugh. That would be one of the more severe examples of mental suffering. And there's so many people suffering mentally in the world, tortured by things that they should never have to end up experiencing in the first place. No one should have to deal with something like that, much less children.

I'm sick of it and I'm angry. I feel like, wherever I walk, I see broken people. They are people broken down by the horrors of life and of all different kinds. They are broken and so they resort to broken coping mechanisms.

The thing that kills me is how many people are out there. There are hordes- and now there are more and more and more of them with each passing day. There is nothing that we can do to prevent suffering, it seems. The only thing we can do is be there for the suffering but we can't even seem to do that. We're too wrapped up in our own problems.

That's it- that being too wrapped up in our own problems. First of all, we don't realize how lucky we are not to be starving to death or to be in a good, functioning body. But then we're so wrapped up that we needlessly hurt others and we aren't even aware of it.  And then sometimes people hurt others on purpose because they're hurting inside.

It's just not right. Of course it isn't but the injustice of it kills me. I've said this before, but somehow I'm just so shocked by it. I see it every day and stare it right in the eye but it still manages to shock and appall me nonetheless.

Of course, there have been many who have discussed and proposed solutions for it, such as the infamous Buddha. The second truth of Buddhism, for instance, even pinpoints it and pretty much claims that most of our suffering is caused by craving and ignorance. I suppose that it is true, in a way, but it is way too general. I think suffering is caused by people's brokenness continually perpetuating itself. I think that's how evil is spread too- people's brokenness gone sour, morphing into a disease only meant to spread and breed itself.

Suffering is all around us. I'm not sure if there is a way to stop it, really. It just keeps going and going and going. And, even though I too am broken, I must keep going too.

The Dreaded Book Stack

There comes the usual dilemma in the life of every reader. The realization that one cannot read all of the wonderful books in the world is quite a sad one, so when it hits me, I feel a midst of panic come over me. In that midst of panic, I try to store up as many books as I can. I'm like my hamster trying to store all of her food in her cheeks for no reason at all. And such.... I end up developing a dreaded book stack that is quite intimidating to look at.

I don't know why I do this. It's definitely pretty silly, because it's only a stress that I make for myself. And yet...

The books call to me whenever I pass them. All of them, really. It's pretty hard to just turn away from their call, but I have to. Some little things help me sometimes, but most of all, I'm pretty screwed. At least in bookstores, I'm constrained by cost so that's definitely pretty good. In yard sales and libraries, there are no such constraints. And such, I now have way too many books in my possession right now and I don't think I can read them all.

Right now, I have a blended family of a book stack- some are from the library, some are from the bookstore and one is even a bargain book I got at this vintage store. That's the biggest kind of disaster, I suppose, because it invites the biggest kind of book stack. I'm all aching to read them all. Sadly, that means it will be a while until I can enjoy the beauty of bookstore buying again. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be in debt (in a way, I sort of am, I guess).

The funny thing is, I don't know why I'm worrying. I can probably read them all by next month. Fortunately, my school gives me months to read the library books so I don't have there's not that much of a rush on reading them. Still, I'll read them all first to get them over with. I wasn't going to do that, but I guess it makes the most sense and will cause the least pressure.

I just saw a video by a booktuber I loved talking about all this. It reminded me that the books that I buy aren't going anywhere. I shouldn't feel bad for putting that huge book that I've had for months on hold because I'll just get to it when I can. The books might pile up but they aren't going anywhere- I'll read them eventually. I just have to get the most important books that I have read first and I'll probably make up for it eventually.

My parents think I'm crazy and I know that they are surely right. I'm glad I'm not them in this predicament because it would take them months to read that book stack but I know that it won't take me nearly as long, I guess.

There are nine books in my book stack. That doesn't include the book that I've just started reading now or the three-in-one book. I originally had much more so I consider this definite progress so far. I know I just have to take it easy.

It will probably be best if I never look at the book stack or think about it because it will surely stress me out a little. So I'm writing all of my thoughts out now.

I've had worse. My worse book stack ever was thirteen books I checked out of the library once in the thick of the school year- these books weren't from school either but from the local library so I had to have them all read in two weeks. And I did it.

I know I'm not the only one in this predicament. For everyone who is, I'll stay the same.

I'll be in this reader's dilemma for all of eternity. I might as well get used to it now.

School: Why is it So Useless?

 The point of going to high school is to get into college. That's pretty much it or at least that's the only thing that I can think of. The socialization part comes with it, but it's more of a sink-or-swim kind of scenario, learned by exposure. Most of the crap we learn we will never need and most of the stuff we're assigned is busywork. For some reason, the sheer monotony of it is getting to me this year. I'm trying not to be negative, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.

Every moment I spend in school, I want to leave. I think of ditching with every period that I have. I have to write out my soul (pretending to write notes) just to last the period. With every step I take, I feel a growing anger at having to complete every menial task. I just want to throw my assignments at the wall and break free.

Maybe if I felt I had a purpose, I wouldn't feel as angry as I am. I just feel so numb when I go there and so painfully bored every time I go there. My mind is numb from the activities that are so much harder than they need to be. Maybe if I felt like my school environment wasn't as stifling and mind-numbing as it is, I wouldn't feel as bored. Everything about it irks me- from the crowds to the kids to the teachers to the work. I don't know how I'm supposed to get over any of that, I guess.

It's bad enough I have to endure six hours of school a day- why do I need two additional hours of homework on top of that? There's no excuse for that and I almost feel like teachers are out there because they want to waste my time. I don't even have safety on the weekends or the holidays too- school constantly haunts me and I can never shake it.

And everything is absolutely ridiculous, I feel. The kids are ridiculous and they are so immature that it's pathetic. And yet... Ugh.

The only saving grace of school is clubs. And yet they only come at the end of the day, unfortunately. Clubs help me relieve my frazzled mind, but it returns when the homework does. I go right back to where I started then.

I feel like they're doing this on purpose- trying to melt my mind and fry it. Maybe to make it easier for them to control.

I want to do something beyond stupid, mindless work. I want to focus on the things that I love. I don't want to be wasting my life. But alas, I am.

I can survive this. One step at a time. Maybe I can numb my mind for good, so that I won't feel the pain now.

Guantanamo Bay

They say that they care but they don't. As we live our lives, men rot in jail. Tortured in primitive cells and stripped of all freedom and humanity, these men are often not considered by the general public. Yet as 9/11 happened this week, I couldn't help but think about them.

As terrible as 9/11 was, I can't help but be much more angry at the terrible things that happened afterwards and for people for allowing themselves to be consumed by fear and manipulated. So many terrible offenses were committed afterwards, but no one said anything to stop it. One of these terrible things was Guantanamo Bay.

Shortly after 9/11, the former President Bush opened up Guantanamo Bay, a torture camp for apparent terrorists. Eventually, even American citizens could be sent there- and with no probable cause and no trial- to be indefinitely detained. Not only does this violate the Fifth Amendment (the right to due process), but it violates international law. Yet because of fear of "terrorism", people have allowed this atrocity to go on with only few words of protest. I have even heard excuses from my relatives saying that this kind of thing is okay, emotive responses brought out by brainwashing.

Terrorist or not, no one has the right to be tortured and everyone has the right to a fair trial and basic civil rights. Why? We are not a vigilante justice system and we should be above acting like animals. Torturing these terrorist is stooping to their level. Not only that, but it doesn't even work most of the time(Rejali). Many of the men aren't terrible, vicious animals, even, but people whose minds are so warped, manipulated and brainwashed that they believe that they are doing the right thing (with the exception of many of the higher-ups, who absolutely do know what they're doing).

Get this, though. Most of the people sent to Guantanamo are... innocent. That's right. Most of them aren't even connected and many of them have even been cleared (and are still there). How is that possible? Many who still actually believe in this country and trust the government would be appalled at this and outright deny it. But, alas, this is true. Most of the people held in Guantanamo Bay are not even affiliated with Al Qaeda and the Taliban (Miller), and many were even indiscriminately picked up by the government when it offered bounties to Afghanis for "terrorists" (Pope).

779 prisoners have been held at Guantanamo Bay over the course of its career (Stafford Smith), but many more have probably been held from 2003- 2004 in secret whom the government have not identified. While this might sound like a lot, it could have been a lot worse especially given how easy it was to ship someone off there. Currently, 89 prisoners are still in Guantanamo Bay despite being cleared by President Obama (Stafford Smith)- and if that's not disturbing, I don't know what is.

Much of it stinks of corruption too. Before Arab Spring, Libyan and Palestinian refugees (and possibly more) were handed back to their respective countries/ areas after they had been extensively tortured in Guantanamo Bay (and still are, in certain cases) only to be tortured more in those countries (Guantanamo Bay's refugees. I think I smell oil and shady diplomacy here.

While Obama said that he would close Guantanamo Bay down (Negrin), he has not done so so far. For those who argue the need for protection, I say this from Benjamin Franklin- "People who trade freedom for security deserve neither." I would especially argue that that is the case for those who take away the freedoms of others.

Americans at this rate

Sources:
Guantanamo Bay's Refugees: Trapped by Inaction. Rep. no. 2d. Center for Constitutional Rights, n.d. Web. <ccr.org>.
Miller, Greg. "Many Held at Guantanamo Not Likely Terrorists." Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times, 22 Dec. 2002. Web. 14 Sept. 2012. <http://articles.latimes.com/2002/dec/22/nation/la-na-gitmo22dec22>.
NEGRIN, MATT. "Guantanamo Bay: Still Open, Despite Promises." ABC News. ABC News Network, 03 July 2012. Web. 14 Sept. 2012. <http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/guantanamo-bay-open-promises/story?id=16698768>.
Rejali, Darius. "5 Myths about Torture and Truth." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 16 Dec. 2007. Web. 14 Sept. 2012. <http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/13/AR2007121301303.html>.
Stafford Smith, Clive. "Guantánamo Bay: Statistics." Reprieve—Guantánamo Bay: Statistics. Reprive.org, 28 July 2011. Web. 14 Sept. 2012. <http://www.reprieve.org.uk/publiceducation/guantanamostats/>.
Pope, Mark. "How Did so Many Innocent People End up in Guantánamo Bay?"Reprieve—How Did so Many Innocent People End up in Guantánamo Bay?N.p., 30 Aug. 2012. Web. 14 Sept. 2012. <http://www.reprieve.org.uk/publiceducation/2012_08_30_Public_Education_Innocents_Guantanamo/>

Rules

Turn right; turn left. A rule. They're everywhere and it doesn't seem like you can get away.  Rules are all around us in all shapes and sizes. They tell us what they can do, what we can't. It seems like everywhere there are adults with wagging fingers and crossed arms, the consequences often shown in the subtlest ways. Many deem the rules as necessary, but I deem them as restrictive. I say rules in moderation.

Today, we had to listen to all of the school rules that we heard thousands of times before. Or at least we were supposed to. Sophomores had this assembly third period and, being a sophomore, I was forcefully evicted from my Creative Writing class. I was supposed to head down to the auditorium about all of this, but, of course, I found Brave New World more worthwhile (even if I did read it in a bathroom stall, faced a certain way to avoid detection).

One of the most startling things about school for me is how legalistic it is. How it's about every little detail.  Every little rule- no matter how useless- matters somehow. Learning (stupid crap) is the most important thing in the world in their eyes, even though learning how to socialize is a much more useful and needed skill that could be learned in that time period. It doesn't even matter if the rule is pointless or if breaking the rule will harm someone. It's almost like adults can't put anything into perspective but it's all just bad. Why do I care if the girl next to me wears provocative clothing? Is a stoner? Ditches? Is texting her boyfriend? No. While these things might be the worst things in the world to the principal, I honestly Don't. Care.  Of course, all of the people who are lauded tend to be the ones who are just terrible, mean people in general and that actually does bother me. 

Another part of how legalistic it is goes into the shades of gray involved in this. At least school is clearly written out. Socially, it's much more complicated and especially if one happens to be a girl. Examples: You can't be too smart but you can't be too dumb. You can't dress like a prude but you can't dress like a slut. You must like certain things or else you're weird. You must act prim and proper at all times and only be obnoxious in certain times and about certain things. Ultimately, you must conform. The consequences of breaking these rules are very profound- guys seem much more forgiving (except, of course, if a guy does anything "gay". That's different). I would much rather deal with all the school rules than social ones because at least those are laid out properly. Yet both of those are incredibly stupid and mostly with consequences much too harsh. 

Of course, kids break these stupid school rules left and right but adults are still stern in their attitude and punishment (although adhere to social ones religiously). It's always been so fascinating to see what rules stick and what rules don't. 

I suppose it is a great irony that I broke one of those cardinal rules when attending an assembly about rules. However, I probably got much more out of Brave New World than I could ever get out of that stupid assembly. 

I'm not against rules all together. If anything, writing about an anarchist society proved how necessary they are. At the same time, I don't believe that no rules should exist. I just think they should be much more general and much more broad, looking at the bigger picture instead of little details. Rules, if followed up by consequences, often instill fear instead of an atmosphere of respect. Strict parents and strict schools are taking the easier way out- instead of giving kids freedom to roam and freedom to express themselves, they are putting them on a short leash just because they can. A tight leash will only make the dog want to tear through it even more and is something incredibly alienating. 

Rules, ultimately, need to be used in moderation and within reason. To govern every aspect of a child's life is absolutely unnecessary. When you put too many rules in place and when you don't dare to break some, you are only cheating yourself. To break stupid rules is to break free and to think in an entirely different way. 

First Day of School (as a Sophomore)

On my first day of school, I missed the bus, got left out in the rain, fell down a flight of stairs and had my yogurt in my lunchbox explode. I think the universe is against me or the God of School or something like that. Some big, terrible force. Is this some kind of big, terrible omen?

I was a lot more nervous last year, of course. I was thinking about it weeks in advance and staring up at the ceiling (as seen in the earlier blog posts in here). This year, I only freaked out as yesterday ended and it was more dread than anything else (though I was worried how this year would have ended up working out).

As most first days go, I just spent the whole time listening to the teachers go on and on and on about their rules and expectations. On the bright side, at least I got to write some stories (although I hid it from the teachers as I talked). The only convergence from this pattern was my teacher talking in just Spanish in Spanish class about the rules and my Math teacher talking about the rules before giving us a huge math packet. That was about it pretty much, although I have to admit that I actually have some pretty cool teachers this year.

I did notice how the freshmen had better game faces this year. Last year, we were all lost with our maps out and confused looks permanently etched on our faces.

At the very least, I have friends in my lunch period this year. When I fell down my flight of stairs (which I do quite often due to my clumsiness), someone helped pick me up even though people usually never do and she even introduced herself. My hair didn't totally get wet in the rain, either.

I managed to survive, though. I managed to survive the day.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be easier.

Still, I feel the prison door slamming shut right now. The workload will only get worse- more intense and more difficult. And I now I have much less time.

There's a little nervous feeling that comes with the first day of school. That angsty feeling of having to adjust. I used to look forward to it but now I just dread school more.

But I will survive. One step at a time.

Last Day of Summer

 Summer is gone. Maybe by technical definitions, summer is still here but... For me, it is gone for good. Today is the fourth of September. The freshmen in my school are there, listening to their teachers talk about what to expect and trying to get used to the behemoth school that they are now a part of. I am home, though, but I won't be home for long.

I used to look forward to the end of summer because I was excited for the start of school. I felt this happy, shimmery feeling about it and I thought about what I was going to wear and how I would look to everyone and things like that. I looked forward to school because I was bored out of my mind in summer. While I am still kind of excited about school, this is no longer the case. Now I miss summer as I feel it fade away from me. Now, I cling to every moment that I have.

"But Tori," so many adults argue, "you're smart. You should like school." I've heard this with the start of school and I just want to strangle them. Smart people don't like school. Sheeple like school (well sheeple that can perform tasks better than their less intelligent fellow sheeple). If they were truly intelligent, I fail to see how they would like something so uniform, narrow and dull. They wouldn't like a system that goes out of its way to make everything as boring and safe as possible, a place that hates controversy and actually facing things for what they were. I learn best with a vast array of books written by people who dare to break barriers and who dare to make learning interesting as well as writing to process what I learn. School, unfortunately, cuts down on this quite significantly. Heck, maybe there are other schools that happen to be more vibrant and full of non-vapid people but I can't see it in my school. As far as I see it, school is a waste of my time.

In summertime, I can control everything. I don't have to read stupid, safe books and I don't have to do stupid assignments I can sleep in whenever I want and I can do whatever I want. I have plenty of time to read, write and explore my intellectual self. I learn and retain far more in the summertime than I ever do during the school year.

Of course, I can't say that school is entirely useless. In terms of its apparent purpose (teaching us useful academic things), it pretty much is at this point. The lessons that I've learned from school are mainly social and emotional. However, I learned quite a bit in school. School has taught me how to deal with stress by pretty much throwing me in it- you know, forcing me how to swim by throwing me in the middle of an ocean. I've also learned how to deal with people and the bullshit social politics they choose to follow and to find people who are like me and hate it just as much as I do. I know how to deal with people and to socialize and if school didn't exist, I wouldn't be nearly as adept at this. However, these aren't very pleasant lessons so, of course, it's kind of stupid to tell me to look forward to returning to it.

I don't hate school. It's not a bad place to me and it's no longer a traumatizing one. I'm not totally freaking out about going back like I was last year. It's just... Going back to school is like having a huge chocolate bar suddenly grabbed from my mouth and have it replaced by tofu. It's not bad and it's not terrible, but it's just incredibly bland and often incredibly stupid. It's hard to have a positive attitude about something I generally see as a waste of time. So soon enough, I'll adjust and I'll make the most of school by surrounding myself with awesome people. But seriously... How can people expect me not to mourn summer when it was incredibly awesome? I don't know how boring and stupid it is (I don't think anything of it at that point because I'm numb) while I'm in it, but it's only when I'm out, that I realize what I'm missing when I go to school every day.

Maybe I can make a petition to spruce school up. I might even get a teacher who makes school a place I want to be in for at least one hour of the day. I doubt it, though.  I'll have to go to school and deal with it, waiting until it ends for the fun to actually start (whether at home or in totally cool clubs). On the bright side, I happen to know that school will be fun the first couple of days and then only gradually get worse. I guess I need to focus on not being sad that it's over, but happy that it even happened. It will take a while to get over, though.

Me getting used to school tomorrow

Implausible/Fairytale Endings

 "And they lived happily ever after." Such are the traditional end of all of the fairy tales that I was told as a child. It was only when I was older that I discovered that things don't end up as happily ever after most of the time, much to my chagrin. Happy endings don't guarantee anything- real life isn't nearly as simple. Watching another Nicholas Sparks movie last night reminded me of that fact.

I'm fifteen and I'm a cynic. I suppose that's a part of the skepticism that makes me who I am. I believe in love but I don't believe in soul mates. I no longer believe in the goodness of humanity as a whole. Given that, I'm a little picky about what is believable- and if a story doesn't authentically represent human beings and the human experience (whether this is in the real world or no), I discount it.

In a lot of ways, I dislike fairy tales simply because I believe that they make for poor stories. A story isn't necessarily poor because it is kind of a fairy tale, of course- happy endings do work- but fairy tales often do not make the bill.

Take romance books and chick flicks, the modern-day fairy tale. I recognize that many romance books and chick-flick are about escape and happy endings, but that just doesn't sell for me. I'm all for real, fleshed-out characters and real endings that aren't just there for convenience. If there is no way for the couple in the story to be together, then don't do some stupid deus ex machina (the Latin term for a pretty random plot device in a story) but break them up and create a tragedy.

Ultimately, these stories are not authentic. Personally, if it's not authentic, it feels cheap and fake to me. Real characters and real story lines feel so much richer than me than some syrupy sweet, contrived excuse of a story that's been done a thousand times over. Authenticity is so much more effective than any cheap fairy tale trick.

Sometimes, it's even the ending that can ruin a whole story. Take that movie I was watching The Lucky One.   I enjoyed the movie overall and the themes it dealt with, but the ending ruined it for me. The ending (which I won't reveal) was corny, easy and ineffectual overall. If that's the ending of the book it was based on, shame on Nicholas Sparks. Instead of having a more uncertain and difficult ending, he went with the easy way- creating a lot of drama from a far-fetched event and having the story end with everything tied up. Considering the richness of the stories that I've read and watched (in move form) in general, it was quite disappointing coming from him.

Of course, I know that most who enjoy these kind of endings and movies will argue that, "It's just a story. It's not real." They enjoy it because it's so different from a reality that they don't feel like dealing with. However, I think they are depriving themselves of a real story. It's still entirely able to escape via stories that aren't entirely stupid.

The romantics might enjoy this, but I don't. I like something that's real.