Revision

The revision process can easily feel like cutting strips from my own skin or putting a pick through my eye. As necessary as it is, it can range from boring to painful. During this break, I've been revising, revising, revising. My fingers worked furiously on this story I've been writing and it's left me absolutely exhausted and I didn't even know how I was supposed to go about everything then.

Of course, revision is necessary. There were way too many bad days where my brain has been too fried to notice typos, too many bad days when I have had writing block so bad that it was incredibly, incredibly sparse. How many days when I have been so caught up in the story that my descriptions were incredibly confusing. And this, by the way, is on my second draft. So, obviously, revising is an incredibly necessary process, one I didn't even notice until I actually learned how to do it properly.

Yes, I'll admit it. There was a time when I didn't revise. I simply didn't know how. I wrote a book and then I stowed it away. The same went for my smaller short story pieces and my poetry. Sure, I touched up the grammar but, other than that, I didn't do anything with it. And then (and this is the painful part) I actually sent these pieces in to places to be published! Then I wondered why they didn't get published. I really want to facepalm my younger self.

But then I went to a camp that taught me how to revise and I also learned to "air out" my pieces for a few months to make them look fresh. Now that I have, I'm on a roll.

To an extent, poetry revision can be fun. It's fun to play around with lines and structure and a total remodeling of the story. Other than that, though, it's not fun at all. With proper revision, a writer has to look at both the small details that make up the story and also the bigger picture of what certain elements do for the plot, character developments, etc.; this can be incredibly exhausting, especially when creating a novel.

It's hard to decide which paragraphs make the cut. Sad to put a beautifully crafted story in the orphan file because it does nothing for the story. It's necessary but still sad. It still feels like I'm ripping out a part of my soul.

I'm doing whatever I can to meet my self-imposed deadline for my story's third draft and I almost feel like I'm cheating it by not giving it quality time. But what can I do? Even as I revise, I still agonize over what I've written. I almost feel like I can never get the story just right.

So far, I'm on chapter thirteen. The story has twenty-seven. I'm about halfway through this even though I have a long way to go.

I've weathered revision. Even though I know it's important, it's still hard.

On the bright side, though, I'm starting the New Year knowing that I've done something important. And that's what counts.

Revision, in a way, is a way to sort out the good from the bad and start fresh. That's the important part. In the end, it will be worth it because it will make my story better.

I need to look at this in a positive way. It's not peeling my skin but embarking on a journey.