Friday, January 25, 2013

The Simple Things

The simple pleasures of life are like sips of honey from a jar. Simple pleasures are simple and quick, short and sweet. One little simple pleasure is nothing but, all together, they are a little something. They aren’t exciting but sometimes they are the things that I go back. 

Alright so I know that my post from yesterday was a downer. Yesterday, I tossed and turned in bed, heavily considering taking it down. The idea of someone seeing beneath my happy mask freaked me out. I had said that I wanted my family to understand me but, to be honest, part of me didn’t want to. Yet I want them to know, want someone to know, so that maybe they can help me help myself and offer the right form of support. I’m not taking that post down because I refuse to silence myself yet again. I need place to express myself and tell the truth as I see it.

I can, however, state here that I am not entirely hopeless. Or, at the very least, I can

say that I am not entirely hopeless all of the time and that it fluctuates. Yes, there is a hole inside of me and yes, it has been harder to smile lately. Yes, I happen to be in a shitty situation living as a teenage misfit who always happens to be incredibly sensitive and that there’s no way to change that.  But I can still get pleasure from the simple pleasures.

Sometimes, the black spells are too strong to focus on anything else. In those moments, I need release such as that in the previous blog posts. Yet sometimes, I can distract myself from it. So I do. And it’s usually the simple pleasures that get me out of it.

The following is what I have found helpful to get me out of the black spells or get my mind off of it in no particular order:
-Looking at cute puppy videos and pictures.
Apparently, looking at cute puppy videos releases a chemical in the brain. But looking at cute things always makes me smile.

-Cuddling with my real life dog or hamster. 
There are cuddle hormones, too. Plus, they're so freaking cute and loving little things. People might suck but they are good and they will always be good. 

Yeah, this is probably a little bit of TMI but, hey, it does help when I'm feeling down and out.  

-Writing and reading. 
Not venting, of course, or reading downer books. No, I mean writing and reading drama, things that will help me escape or allow me to think about abstract things. Nothing consumes as much of my time, of course, as writing a book does: the plotting, the research often needed, the actual writing of the first draft, countless revision... It's all very distracting. 

-Listen to hopeful music 
Sad music is when I cannot escape the sadness and need to express it. But sometimes, that can only make it worse and so I need hopeful music. Not fake bubble-gum crap but the real stuff that acknowledges real things. 

-Play around with my photography. 
Taking pictures is fun for a variety of different reasons. I have to find one perfect angle and make sure the coloring's just right. Oh and I forgot: playing with Photoshop consumes even more time!

This is incredibly hard to do, but sometimes I can. I like to dream about simple things too because grand things are too hard for me to conceptualize. Planning out my future pets can be a great way to do this. 

-Surfing the Web
Great mindless activity that can waste hours of the day. 

I think exercising releases endorphin too. I didn't used to like exercising but now I really enjoy it. I feel a rush when I exercise, a thrill. Not to mention, focusing on physical sensations means that I won't have to focus on inner sensations. 
And, I suppose, those are all of the simple things that don't cost much at all but they still help me out quite a bit. That blackness does seep into so much that I do, causing a hole that's always present, but, at the moment, I suppose I can cope with them. 

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