Saturday, September 7, 2013

New Experiences

New experiences are always strange, always frightening. It's more than the simple action of doing but the fear of the unknown that's also behind it. It's new so it feels like nothing that I've ever felt before.

Going to my private school was definitely a new experience for me. And so all of that followed. Sure, I had been to other new schools but this was still a new experience for me. I went into a totally new school in the middle of my high school experience, knowing only a few people (better than none but still). 

Yesterday, I did one of the scariest things I've ever done. And nothing turned out as terrible as I feared they might be. Of course, new experiences usually aren't worth all the hype but this one definitely was. I had a good time but I had no knowing that it would turn out well. I was taking a complete risk in what I was doing, no turning back. 

New experiences bring you out of your comfort zone. They rattle you in a healthy way. Still, sometimes, it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes when I do new things, it feels so nerve-wracking that it makes my heart burst out of my chest and explode. 

New experiences are... new. So of course they have that fresh feeling to it. That exciting zeal to it. New experiences aren't boring and old like the other experiences are (duh, that's what makes them new).
Even that frightening feeling makes you more excited. It gets the adrenaline pumping. It's so odd, so disconcerting, that it feels like you're out of your body. 

Because anything could happen. Absolutely anything. True to my anxious self, I was imagining all of the possible disaster scenarios as I walked through the door and that really freaked me out. 

You don't know what to expect since you have no reference point. I tried to reassure myself but I didn't know how. I honestly didn't know what to expect.

But I did it anyway. And now it's not a new experience. Soon, I imagine, it will become routine for me, something old. For now, it's still kind of new, though. 

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